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Let’s talk about grown-up stuff: Let’s talk S.E.X


It was 9: 45 pm and I was getting really bored watching the news, so I figured it was time to go to bed as I had an early start the next day,  I got into bed and decided to browse the internet for a bit. Social media is such an interesting place; I mean, you think you will be there for 10 mins and boom! It’s 2 am! That was exactly what happened to me.

I was just about to force myself to sleep, then the phone rang,  it was my friend Bunmi “ Hello, Zee...are you awake?”  she asked  “ Yes, I am” I responded as I rolled my eyeballs; who did she think was speaking to, a robot?
“I’m glad you are awake” she continued “ I am depressed”. That got me. I was now worried. It was past 2 am and I figured it must be something urgent. "Are you alright, is everything okay?” I asked hurriedly.
“ Yes, well No” she continued “ It's just that I am getting really frustrated in this relationship” she added. She went back and forth about how she loved her man and how wonderful he was but she didn’t quite seem to enjoy sex with him.
“So, what you are trying to say is you don’t enjoy sex with Frank?” I asked. There was a long silence on the other end before she responded “ No, I don’t, what should I do, we have tried everything” she muttered in desperation.

I try not to get involved in people’s affairs but hard as I tried, people brought them to me, *sighs*
My friend, Bunmi,  told me she had purchased some "Kayamata" a herbal aphrodisiac from the locals to spice things up, but that wasn’t the real problem. The problem was that sex had become boring and repetitive. According to her, it had become so predictable she already knew what was to come. "Same old same old".
Well, at this point I proceeded to ask her if she had discussed the issue with partner but she said she had not because didn't want to bruise his ego and she added that most of the time she pretended to enjoy it much more to her own detriment. She said he always felt like he had conquered the world whenever he was done amusing himself. I almost chocked from laughter on that one.

My advice to her was to talk to him about it or initiate things she wanted done. I could not understand how couples in a relationship didn't talk to each other. If talking about it was going to make both of them happy, then, it's a MUST. Sometimes couples may not need enhancement drugs, maybe what they really need is COMMUNICATION. You know , just talking to each other and trying new things? That maybe all may that is required.

We spoke for hours and she seemed a little optimistic after we spoke. “ Goodnight, Bumni...oh my god! It’s 5 am! Well, have a good day and good luck! I exclaimed, “Goodnight Zee, abi  Good morning “ she chuckled “ I will keep you updated” she added “ don’t keep me updated, go handle things jare” I chuckled before hanging up.

It’s been 3 weeks since we last spoke to each other, so I’m guessing everything is fine on her end. I was about to close for the day at work when her messages came in on WhatsApp.

Bunmi: Babe! Are you there?
Me: I’m here, what’s up? Where have you been hiding?

Bunmi: Hiding ke? I have been having the time of my life!
It seems like a miracle, everything has changed between Frank and I
Me: Spare me the details, but I hope you don’t wake me up at 2 am about this matter again?

Bumni: ahhh! No oh! Never!!!! Lol
Well, I spoke to Frank like you advised, I watched him to see how he will react after I told him how I felt, he was quiet for a while and then asked if I had ever enjoyed it and I said I did sometimes but other times I did not, he went silent again and asked what he did wrong, so I told him everything and asked him if there was something he wanted me to change or do as well. That conversation has helped us. 🙌🙌🙌
Me: Well, I am happy to hear that.

Bunmi: Wait nowwwww,  I just want to say THANK YOU
Me: Oh, you are welcome. But, there are charges! You people can not keep coming to me for advice for free anymore!

Bunmi: 😂😂😂😂😂😂 You no well! Okay, Lunch maybe?
Me: Deal!😃


This was not the first time I have had conversations like this, I have had them countless times with different people in my circle. I honestly believe communication is a key factor in any relationship. Without it, we would all be walking around aimlessly in the dark.
If you need to change something, then do something about it, talk about it and keep it moving.

Love Zee

Comments

  1. Tony stage5 December 2019 at 23:08

    This is in fact so true especially when it comes to sex cos many relationships suffer due to lack of proper communication

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zikalicious6 December 2019 at 01:43

      Exactly! Sometimes, it gets so bad, partners start cheating. They get bored again and move on the to the next sexual partner and so...the cycle continues leaving the main issue unattended to.

      Delete
  2. Kingsley Oyero6 December 2019 at 17:11

    Nice piece.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Zikalicious6 December 2019 at 17:53

      Thanks for stopping by, I'm glad you like it☺

      Delete
    2. Anonymous9 May 2022 at 21:32

      Very true. Communication is the major key 🔑

      Delete

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